transient nite

compromising my heart, i still the whispers of my soul's purpose. desiring to be what is needed but not needing to be what is desired, i twist my emotions into a pretty package of all things joyful and connect the dots to a reality that lives itself out in short breaths of pause.
i tarry, stretches of road traveled under far too many moons remain a mystery before me...beckoned to the pseudo solace of too many companions whose arms i recognize but do not know. too many voices of the familiar echo a language i am strained to comprehend...a communication sans connection...void of understanding. burdened by words of despair staining the ground of every step un-chosen, they draw deep breathings of un-fulfillment that linger thick in the air...weeds of procrastination wound deep within their souls, choking the promise of dreams vying to breathe...
Hope lies comatose among withered blooms of determination. she was once impregnated with the twins of Purpose and Vision…but she travailed in vain, for they were stillborn...their haunting presence immortally entombed w/in her hungering womb. Love kneels at her side; fatigued by endless vigils of prayer that stream silently senseless within the landscape of tattered emotions…he knows they were re-routed here to die. his stubborn nature remains committed to her with cause and purpose. caressing her soul's tears with a promise he dares barely to whisper…"I will NEVER forsake you"
 i spy a spot seemingly reserved for me. i am compelled by it's seductive invitation to "rest and forget"…seemingly destined to it...almost grateful. conflicted, i choose to sit in watch…my heart pondering the permanence of this morose inevitable.  i stare at the others huddled in the embrace of night, “resting peacefully”…their eyes speak of an un-layered contentment that finds no home. a joy that takes no pleasure in laughter, caresses their lips as they share portions of loneliness made palatable by sips of melancholy.  i envy their resolute kinship as I am discomfited for what seems time immeasurable...
"Why?."...i wonder in silence," is my place here not comfortable as well?"
as if reading my concerns, the mid-aged soul curled before me glances into me with an empathic whisper...

"There is no comfort within the temporary...only brief illusions of acceptance"