mourning view...

the world is indeed round.

i know this because i have existed in the weary circling of it's limitless perimeter for a few months now...

it's seclusion granting me the illusion of independent breathing that has become truly lost to me.

but the other night, on a sharpened whim of self destruction, i dared to cross the line...

wandering w/out cause, beyond the borders that limited my bruising... into the nucleus of my inconceivable sorrow.

i drew a deep breath of burning insanity, and resigned my whole self to experience the awakening truth that had come to inhabit the streets of the city that had once held my heart's purest joy unveiling...

and inspired the rhythm of my life's true blood reaping...

though my scorched lungs immediately began to suffocate, on the raw stings of progressive loneliness.

breathless, i walked the harsh treadmill of streets haunted by lust laden apparitions of their vehemently blooming allegiance...

the one sudden onslaught of alliance that had highhandedly turned the city my soul lived, into a bone deep harrowing obituary of the passion we once affirmed, but no longer nurtured.

thorns springing heartily in the places that had witnessed the seeds of their union's grazing seemed to cut my heels...and i bled...

drops of torturous reprise compromised of  the moments they created as history, w/in those merciless hours of days and nights that erased any devotion of our years from w/in him.

my eyes beheld them...as i stared blindly through the restaurant window that i had heard much too much about as the wind changed and his heart turned away the wanting of my love.

my tear weary eyes envisioned them in the corner booth reserved for shadows of passionate explore...whispering the private language of my interpreted heartache under the sinewy intoxication of fresh discovery that served as midwife to every newborn liaison.

they strolled by me in the park, enraptured in immune glee...

holding hands...his eyes adoring her as she lost herself in his breeze...

ingesting the intellectual spell of his wisdom served on a warm plate of humor that gave her heart wings.

the weight of her victorious laughter hung heavy in the air i still struggled to keep in my lungs, though the renewed scent of betrayal was slowly killing me.

i tripped...the chords of their song crippling my heart, as he took her in the arms he once whispered were meant to hold me...

the way her voice had deafened his heart to my cries...embracing her adolescent declarations of premature love as though they were ripe and worthy of his purest indulgence.

surrounding her w/ the possibilities the nights freely sprawled at her thirsty feet...

their hips inviting and accepting the illicit promise of fulfillment that seduced reason, wanton w/in their perfectly orchestrated public intimacy.

my heart wept silently, while the world spun distantly around me...taunting intentions enveloping me in the cruel reality that this city i used to love...was now theirs, being recreated as his and hers.

i was a stranger in this new world...no longer welcome in it's streets full of spot lights that illuminated the careless memories they'd created under it's gaze of infidelity's scorn.

i knew what i had already known...i was stripped of affection...fallen from grace...and there was nothing left of him that could belong to us.

we had been deconstructed...inappropriate chunks of emotion at a time...under the same unfaithful moon that once served as our guide through love.

and as the moon's light that led me back into the narrow perimeter of pointless wander my life had become, carried their whispers of embezzled sigh into the cracks of breaking my heart left in the pavement,

i stumbled back into the welcome of demarcative existence,

in the nowhere that was now my only home.